I feel like I really, truly made a difference in one of my kids' lives today. The new kid, of course.
This morning I had him go straight to the counselor to see if she could figure out at all what's up with him and his abrupt personality shifts/intense anger. Turns out he's got a bunch of brothers and sisters, and a mom he really misses. Parents split up and everyone stayed with mom except for him. How traumatic would that be? The counselor also told me that his little pants were so small on him that they were cutting into his skin. To me, that means neglect on the part of his father. Complete and total neglect. CIS [Communities in Schools] set him up with a new wardrobe, complete with this gorgeous down-lined jacket and lots of other nice things. The counselor said he wanted to try all of it on right then and was really excited to get new things. She brought him back to me about two hours after she initially got him, and we talked for a little bit - she told me about the family situation, and also something I already knew: he's a totally sad, distraught little boy that never gets any love from anyone, anywhere. I brought him in the room alone; there were no other kids there. He showed me his new jeans, and we talked. I asked him if he knew now that I cared about him, and that the school cared about him, and he said yes. I gave him a big hug and told him I'm going to do my best to make his life better. His behavior improved 2000% today. It's amazing what a little attention and love can do for a kid. And pants that fit. I think that helped too. They're also working on getting him set up for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm going to spend part of my Christmas bonus buying presents for my kids, so I'll know that they'll all at least get something.
I don't know. I guess I'm doing something right. More than half of the parents I met with this week told me that their kids talk about me constantly and how much they love me. It breaks my heart to think that most of these kids will probably be out of my life after this year. I don't know if I'll be able to take the year in year out influx of kids and getting so close to them only to lose them nine months later. I think I'll try to move up with my kids until they go away to middle school. That is, if I stay at that school, or Dallas for that matter, for that long.
Something else I noticed this week: when I miss the TV shows that I absolutely can't miss, it's really not that big of a deal. A lot of stuff becomes less important when I think about the fact that what I do every day really is important. These kids have it rough. One mom explained to me that her daughter is weird because there's been "problems with domestic violence and her father" all year. He's been in and out of jail because he beats his wife. She let him come back because her daughters cry. I just wanted to say, "if he beats the hell out of you all the time, he's eventually going to hurt your children!" But they're super Catholic, and don't believe in divorce.
Another one of my girls is going to have pretty major surgery over Christmas break. At least half of them are bleeding from the mouth all the time because their parents can't afford dental care, and they're all so afraid of being caught and deported they won't take advantage of the free dental care available to them. It just never ends.
I got invited to my first birthday party today. It'll be so fun to see the kids all dressed in their normal clothes [I work at a uniform-mandated school] and for them to see me in a Flaming Lips shirt or whatever, and realize how weird their teacher is.
Everyone told me not to get too involved, not to become the kids' friend, but I don't see how anyone can not do that. These kids are people, and I spend forty hours every week with them. I'm going to get attached. I'd rather be their friend than just some faceless woman at the front of the room. The teachers I remember are the ones who let me into their lives, shared their families and stories with us. Maybe my students will remember me. I hope they do.
This morning I had him go straight to the counselor to see if she could figure out at all what's up with him and his abrupt personality shifts/intense anger. Turns out he's got a bunch of brothers and sisters, and a mom he really misses. Parents split up and everyone stayed with mom except for him. How traumatic would that be? The counselor also told me that his little pants were so small on him that they were cutting into his skin. To me, that means neglect on the part of his father. Complete and total neglect. CIS [Communities in Schools] set him up with a new wardrobe, complete with this gorgeous down-lined jacket and lots of other nice things. The counselor said he wanted to try all of it on right then and was really excited to get new things. She brought him back to me about two hours after she initially got him, and we talked for a little bit - she told me about the family situation, and also something I already knew: he's a totally sad, distraught little boy that never gets any love from anyone, anywhere. I brought him in the room alone; there were no other kids there. He showed me his new jeans, and we talked. I asked him if he knew now that I cared about him, and that the school cared about him, and he said yes. I gave him a big hug and told him I'm going to do my best to make his life better. His behavior improved 2000% today. It's amazing what a little attention and love can do for a kid. And pants that fit. I think that helped too. They're also working on getting him set up for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm going to spend part of my Christmas bonus buying presents for my kids, so I'll know that they'll all at least get something.
I don't know. I guess I'm doing something right. More than half of the parents I met with this week told me that their kids talk about me constantly and how much they love me. It breaks my heart to think that most of these kids will probably be out of my life after this year. I don't know if I'll be able to take the year in year out influx of kids and getting so close to them only to lose them nine months later. I think I'll try to move up with my kids until they go away to middle school. That is, if I stay at that school, or Dallas for that matter, for that long.
Something else I noticed this week: when I miss the TV shows that I absolutely can't miss, it's really not that big of a deal. A lot of stuff becomes less important when I think about the fact that what I do every day really is important. These kids have it rough. One mom explained to me that her daughter is weird because there's been "problems with domestic violence and her father" all year. He's been in and out of jail because he beats his wife. She let him come back because her daughters cry. I just wanted to say, "if he beats the hell out of you all the time, he's eventually going to hurt your children!" But they're super Catholic, and don't believe in divorce.
Another one of my girls is going to have pretty major surgery over Christmas break. At least half of them are bleeding from the mouth all the time because their parents can't afford dental care, and they're all so afraid of being caught and deported they won't take advantage of the free dental care available to them. It just never ends.
I got invited to my first birthday party today. It'll be so fun to see the kids all dressed in their normal clothes [I work at a uniform-mandated school] and for them to see me in a Flaming Lips shirt or whatever, and realize how weird their teacher is.
Everyone told me not to get too involved, not to become the kids' friend, but I don't see how anyone can not do that. These kids are people, and I spend forty hours every week with them. I'm going to get attached. I'd rather be their friend than just some faceless woman at the front of the room. The teachers I remember are the ones who let me into their lives, shared their families and stories with us. Maybe my students will remember me. I hope they do.
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