Taking a Break

I think I need to quit this thing. It's enough that I worry about work at work, when I wake up in the morning, when I go to sleep at night...I could at least reserve myself some time to not deal with my increasingly stressful job. I'm making one last entry, tonight, then this site is going to have to become something else.

Last year was, minute to minute, much more stressful than this one. Last year was all about survival, getting through each day. I can do that now - it's no problem - but now that I'm out of that mode, now that I [sort of] know what I'm doing, I get more and more frustrated each day. Why? Because now I know what things could be like if only we had the resources in our schools. Let me share a few examples:

At my school, we are in week four, yet we are still unable to make copies. There are those who say that "good teachers should not need to make a lot of copies." Fine. I agree that doing pointless worksheets all the time is, well, pointless. But when every element of the curriculum that we are required to use calls for doing worksheets that are included in the curriculum, it becomes very necessary for the teachers to have access to a copier. It was made clear to us by the administration that we would not be reimbursed for any copies we made on our own time at public copy shops like Kinko's. And while Kinko's does give us a discount, it's still very expensive - $1.50 a foot for laminating [laminating machine's broken, too], and something like nine cents for a copy. This adds up fast. The district does provide us with $250 for supplies and expenses throughout the year, but this money does not come to us until our September check. Most of us just can't afford to spend $30 a week on something that should be provided by our school. Of course, this problem could be very easily solved if the district would spend the money on consumable workbooks for each child in each subject. Things would be so much easier on the students and teachers.

Many teachers at my school, including me, still do not have enough textbooks for our students. We don't have teacher's editions for all the subject areas. I have a friend who teaches fifth grade at another school. In fifth grade, the high stakes test is in Science. At this particular school, there is one copy of the Science curriculum, and it is in the library. Teachers must go to the library to do their lesson planning. They do not have the TE, which is vital to presenting the lessons, at hand in the classroom.

It just seems to me like so much money and time are wasted on things of no importance. Training that teaches us nothing. Laptops that no one brings to school, because if we don't buy the expensive insurance [with our own money, of course] we're liable for the cost of the computer if it's stolen or damaged at school. Computers that sit unused in the classroom because the kids don't know how to use them, we don't have computer classes for them, and technology isn't a required part of the curriculum, so we're not allowed to use time during the day for it. How effed up is that? We live in a technology-driven world, we have the resources to educate the students about technology, yet we're not given the time to do it.

And I can't even go into my opinions on the war in Iraq, the evil Bush Regime, Haliburton, Republicans in general, the war...

I think we need to get back to basics. Memorize times tables, learn long division, write vocabulary words in a notebook, do science experiments. All this nonsense cooperative group work, new ways of teaching math - it just doesn't work. Bring corporal punishment back. My students from Mexico are, aside from the language barrier, far ahead of the students who were born here. There's still a fear and respect of teachers instilled in students there, I guess. These American kids know there's really no consequences for their bad behavior - the worst we can do is tell their parents, and they usually don't care or are too busy to care. I've written before about how parents see it as the teacher's responsibility to teach ethics and morals. I'm not saying I want to beat my students, I'm just saying that being sent to the principal's office used to mean something.

So...I might come back every now and then and post something about my job, but probably not. Wish me luck this year - I need it.

Corrections

This week there was an article in the daily paper that mentioned me, and the performance of my class at my school last year. It was a positive article; however, they got my numbers wrong! I have no idea where they got the percentage that they put in the article. In discussing this with a coworker, I began to wonder just how much in our newspapers is wrong. I realize this is an old issue, but I'm guessing that most people assume that facts they read in a major daily newspaper are accurate. It seems that lately, this is becoming less and less true.

School's going pretty well, by the way. My students this year are just so eager to behave well. Last year was so much harder. I suppose I know a little bit more about how to handle kids now, but I really think this bunch is just better behaved by nature. Their English is so very low, though. I went to some special ESL training yesterday and it was outstanding (shocking!). I can't wait to go in to day and try some of the things I learned. I'm going to spend a lot more time just teaching vocabulary. I can teach grammar and structure all day long, but if they don't have the words, they can't write interesting essays.

I'm pleased...Yo la Tengo tickets are on their way to my mailbox, as is an order from Insound. Also, one of my neighbors moved out and gave me her microwave. I've never had one before! It's so much faster than having to do everything on the stovetop. Now all I need is a toaster so I can quit using the broiler to make toast.

And now I'm talking about toast, which means that I am just looking for a reason to sit at this computer and not go get ready for school. The third grade plague has hit me already - I feel like death. The last thing I want to do is go expose myself to more germs.

Sabado Gigante!

How pleasant it was to have an extra day off this weekend. Two Sundays. That's how Monday-off holidays feel to me. Friday-off holidays feel like an extra Saturday, and are therefore better. I like Saturday. I like the combination of feeling like you should take care of a million different things yet having the option to be as lazy as you'd like. That's my definition of relaxing.

The electricity's not great in my apartment building; I blow breakers almost daily doing nothing at all. So, I can't run both the television and the stereo at the same time. They can't both be plugged in. Tonight, while I was watching the television and kind of wanting to just listen to music, I was thinking I might try putting the TV in my bedroom, where I never go, and just having the record player in the living room. Maybe see what it's like to not watch TV. I'm just as bad as anyone else - I come in and have to turn the TV on for noise or I get nervous. Something bad happened to (American?) children somewhere along the way; I know very few people who are content to enter a quiet room, not add any noise, and sit in the room comfortably. I'd go insane from the quiet.

Of course, it's rarely quiet here - the clicking of my fingers as I type, cars with crazy sound systems blaring by the window and the cat's constant screaming keep this apartment pretty filled with an adequate amount of white noise.

The TV does it for me though - I guess it's hearing other human voices that's comforting. But I'm going to try to do without it. I don't have cable, so there's really not that much that I want to watch, anyway. And I never watch movies. I only have a few, and my television set is really too small to watch them on. Plus my living room furniture is so uncomfortable. It's beautiful 50's stuff, in perfect condition, but it would be better for a fancy parlor in someone's house or something. I need a squishy couch to curl up on when I get home from work.

I can hear the television set of someone from another apartment complex through my bedroom window. Insane. I couldn't even sit in the quiet if I wanted to. There is no quiet anymore. Maybe that's why I enjoyed my vacation so much. It was very quiet almost everywhere we went. Peaceful and calm. Some places didn't even have stores or hotels. Just little mountainside towns with a few conveniences for tourists. California...some of the cities in that state just blew my mind. I can't imagine being able to live there. I can't imagine living anywhere besides Texas but I get the feeling I need to - soon.